Bonds crossing borders
Hosting volunteers, contrary to popular conception, has been a joyous and engrossing experience for the host family. This leads to blending of cultures and forging new family ties with volunteers from across the world. This hosting is not confined to merely food and water, cleaning the rooms and making beds. But goes much deeper and promotes a spirit of friendship which continues even long years after the volunteers leave Madurai to their homes.
Saradha- A Caring Host!
Imagine - one day, a stranger who has a completely different culture and language comes to your house, and you are forced to live together. What do you do? Here in Madurai, there are some families doing this as their jobs. They accept foreign volunteers from Projects Abroad, the international organisation that offers many opportunities to do volunteer work in twenty four countries, including India, for people who are interested in them. Host families serve meals and water to these foreign volunteers every day, and clean their rooms and beds for their comfortable stay. These are, however, just a part of their life with the volunteers. All host families give them a hearty welcome, sharing their culture and customs with each other.
Why do they accept foreign volunteers? Why are they always so kind to them? What does ‘accepting’ mean for both host families and volunteers? I visited some host families to get to know the reality of accepting foreign volunteers and find the answer to these questions.
Until they have the volunteers
This is the process in which host families accept volunteers; normally, Projects Abroad informs the host families regarding the number of volunteers they would have, even a month prior to their arrival, and host families welcome them home when they arrive with a Projects Abroad staff member. They clean the rooms and prepare the beds, their hearts filled with happiness imagining what he or she is like. Basically, they serve meals and water and keep their rooms clean. They can accommodate a maximum of six volunteers, from all over the world. Most of the volunteers stay in India for a couple of months, but some of them stay even for six months. Whether their stay is short or long, they spend a lot of time with their host families’ houses, and share values, culture, and lifestyle.
Having new family members
‘Volunteers are not my guests,’ says Saradha, (57), who has been accepting volunteers from last year. “All volunteers are my family”, she says, with a warm smile. It felt just like a mother talking about her children. She has two daughters, but one of them had got married and is living with her new family. Another one is working, living by herself close to her parents’ house. Saradha, however, does not feel lonely, even though her two daughters are away because all volunteers become her daughters, as they are welcomed into her home. They call their host mother and father ‘Amma’ and ‘Appa’, which means ‘Mum and ‘‘Dad’ in Tamil. Saradha’s own daughters sometimes visit their parents and spend time with their ‘sisters’ there. Also, she told us about a relative’s wedding, where she took all her volunteers. All of them wore Indian traditional saris and attended the wedding as a part of the family.
Jebakkani and Jebamalar
Jebakkani, (40), and Jebamalar, (34), who have been accepting volunteers for eighteen months, told us about the good factors of having them in their house. They have been accepting volunteers of various nationalities such as French, German, Swiss, Japanese, Chinese, and so on. ‘We have two kids: a son and a daughter. They can get to know the different cultures from all our volunteers,’ says Jebamalar.
When foreign volunteers are just walking on a road in Madurai, children come and try to speak to them quite frequently. Usually, they just ask the volunteers their names and nationalities, but their radiant eyes show their curiosity about these strangers. Evenwhen just seeing and talking with foreigners is extremely interesting for them, you can imagine how much more exciting it would be for Jebakkani and Jebamalar’s children to have volunteers living with them in their house. Jebamalar added, “We use English when we talk to our volunteers, so our kids start speaking English too. It’s good for them to improve their communication skills as well”. It is not just volunteers who can get major stimulus from unfamiliar cultures.
Srinivasan explains the role of volunteers
Considering each other
I, however, was wondering that it is not always easy and happy to live together with people who have completely different cultures and languages, but all host families agreed that they do not have any difficulties about it. “We don’t allow smoking inside our house, so we ask them not to do so; also we ask them to come home by 9:30 p.m.,” assert Srinivasan, (42), and Geetha, (34), always tell the volunteers about their rules as they arrive. Even when they want the volunteers to change something afterwards, they just tell them about it and discuss it. Of course, both host families and volunteers need to understand and accept each other, even though sometimes it is so difficult. The important aspect is that both of them must always communicate with each other whatever they want or need, without hesitating. It is just same as you do with your own families. The reason for all host families agreeing to have foreign volunteers is that they try to keep having deep conversations with them whenever they need.
“We celebrate all festivals together, like Christmas even Hindus don’t celebrate it. Also we celebrate birthdays of all volunteers at home. We like that. We are all happy and can learn new things from them” . They are so happy that volunteers are willing to learn about their culture too. Understanding different cultures is hard, but you will find it joyful when you have the intention and interest to learn more. What is life with the Indian family like for the volunteers? Anna-Dora, 20, from Denmark, had been working at a journalism project for three months, living with Saradha`s family. She looked back heart the time she spent with the family; “It was very interesting, you can get to know about another culture better than visiting Madurai just as a tourist.” She talked about the memory of Diwali, one of the biggest festivals in the whole of India, as an unforgettable episode. She had a big party with her host family and other volunteers, having some good Indian food and lot of fireworks. “But also all evenings were just so nice. We talked about our countries, families, host parents’ younger days, some daily stuff.. anything.” Even just normal days can be special for the volunteers. She continued, “It’s good to have someone who cares about you. You don’t feel lonely.” Most of the volunteers feel terribly homesick at least once at the beginning of their stay. But host families’ kindness and warm smiles ease them quite soon.
Gifts given by volunteers!
Geetha is happy to learn new things from volunteers
Their family bonds are forever
When host families have to say good-bye to the volunteers, it must be the saddest moment for them, irrespective of whether the volunteers stayed with them for just two weeks or half a year. For host families, it is the same as sending their own children to faraway countries. Sometimes their when they leave, it makes both of them emotional. But still, most of the volunteers are keep in touch with their host families even after they go back to their countries. “One of my previous volunteers calls me once a month,” says Premila, (49), who is mainly accepting the volunteers who work at hospital nearby her house. ‘We talk at least thirty minutes every time,” she says with a smile. Her own sons are also keeping contact on Facebook. Their family bonds are still so strong even if they are far away, says a host.
‘Yes, of course!’ all host families answered, when I asked them ‘Do you want to keep accepting volunteers in the future?’It is not always easy, but when they accept and understand each other openly, their ties would cross borders and cultures. Accepting foreign volunteers is totally different from having them as just guests. It means that host families can have their new families and also share a few memories of the world that they live in and Madurai will always remain the second town for the volunteers.
